Dicember 2021: Days 25-26

I hope everybody had a wonderful Christmas and is enjoying Boxing Day so far! Like many of you, I am midway through the holiday weekend. I wanted to make everyone a little gift, so check out today’s entry below!

Day 25: Arcane

Just a simple arcane d20 for Christmas. I was originally gonna do a huge list of arcane artifacts for Christmas given that it’s a holiday famous for giving gifts, but truthfully the week was really busy and got away from me on that one. Maybe I’ll come back to that one day as I have the beginning of a list anyway.

Day 26: Boss

In the Commonwealth, 26 December is Boxing Day. For the uninitiated, it’s like Black Friday for us; a big shopping day. It makes way more sense than Black Friday because you can spend your Christmas cash on discounted stuff, but I’ve tried explaining this to Americans since I moved down here and every time I do, I’m met with blank stares.

Anyway, this one was a fun one to cook up. I actually considered making this into a PDF so I had an excuse to fidget with a more elaborate download mechanism for the site (and so you could take it with you) but time got a bit short and I wasn’t sure how to make it look cool so I took a pass for now. So, grab your dice, because here’s a huge pile of tables to generate goblinoid boss monsters – an especially noteworthy orc, or a goblin kingpin, things of that nature:

Goblin Champion care of the wonderful Evlyn Moreau and her awesome Patreon; highly recommended.
1d12 A. Given Name
1 Glurm
2 Craydaag
3 Rungle
4 Baalx
5 Pith
6 Maft
7 Valka
8 Liol
9 Bleah
10 Tagut
11 Knom (K not silent)
12 Meb

These are gender-neutral and can be used for goblinoids of any sort.

1d20 B. Surname (1st Half)
1 Bleak-
2 Rot-
3 Maggot-
4 Loach-
5 Poison-
6 Rat-
7 Dark-
8 Hunger-
9 Sour-
10 Rib-
11 Bile-
12 Dung-
13 Loud-
14 Jagged-
15 Retch-
16 Bowel-
17 Dog-
18 Muck-
19 Beetle-
20 Grub-
1d20 C. Surname (2nd Half)
1 -spittle
2 -pit
3 -bone
4 -scar
5 -gore
6 -drum
7 -fist
8 -eye
9 -wound
10 -chewer
11 -eater
12 -belly
13 -jaw
14 -axe
15 -cutter
16 -prod
17 -brow
18 -home
19 -spine
20 -meat

Combine the first half and the second half – no one will police you for switching the order – then proceed:

1d30 D. Honorary Nickname – Implies Personality and Actions
1 the Reaver
2 the Sick
3 the Vile
4 the Liar
5 the Honored
6 the Guthook
7 the Strong
8 the Hungry
9 the Lasher
10 the Crass
11 the Cruel
12 the Wise
13 the Shield
14 the Bloody
15 the Furious
16 the Proud
17 the Red
18 the Coward
19 the Conniving
20 the Sly
21 the Brutal
22 the Slayer
23 the Damp
24 the Filthy
25 the Thieving
26 the Shadow
27 the Sullen
28 the Arrogant
29 the Vain
30 the Ambitious

Goblins and their cousins the orc and hobgoblin are given a title of sorts describing their character when they are of sufficient influence, reputation, or power to be considered a “boss”. All such names are meant to be complimentary in goblin societies, but may not come across that way once translated over to other tongues and cultures. Alternately, these may be largely pejorative suffixes proposed by survivors of goblin raids. Up to you.

1d10 E. 1st Notable Feature
1 Simple iron prosthetic
2 Braided hairstyle
3 Rippling muscles
4 Knotted hairstyle
5 Heavy steel collar
6 Forearms wrapped with jute rope
7 Extensive, artful tattoos
8 Prominent chin
9 Piercing eyes
10 Fine clothes
1d10 F. 2nd Notable Feature
1 Huge gash across the chest
2 Dead eye, milky white
3 Boils or cysts/tumors
4 One lip cut off
5 Tattered ears
6 Wheezing and coughing
7 No eyebrows
8 Hauntingly beautiful facial structure
9 Drunk
10 Scarred cheeks
1d10 G. 3rd Notable Feature
1 Very tall
2 Very short
3 Heavy-set
4 Slender
5 Hirsute
6 Sunken eyes
7 Wrinkled skin
8 Many ritual piercings filled with bone plugs
9 Sharpened teeth
10 Broad shoulders

Goblinoid creatures can take on many shapes and sizes. Optionally, they may also have one or more of the following “special features”, such as mutations or modifications, which mark them as unique:

1d20 H. Optional: Special Feature
1 Horns.
2 Iron plate replaces top of skull – +1 bonus to AC
3 Incredibly smelly. Gains a melee-range breath attack which stuns for one turn – save vs breath to negate.
4 Cursed by traffic through hell. Each step leaves a sooty footprint; easily tracked.
5 Booming voice, as if multiple speak as one. Immediate morale roll for all followers and hirelings.
6 Bipedal goat legs, like a satyr.
7 Elftongued; ancestors enchanted to act as diplomats to end an ancient war. Able to speak elvish languages.
8 Monster arm(s) grafted on to replace existing arm(s)
9 Poisonous skin. Toxins are expressed through pores. Grappling incurs save vs poison or 1d4 damage.
10 Skeletal arms and legs.
11 Third eye in the center of the forehead. Ignores one spell automatically, but the eye bursts when it does so.
12 Infected with grotesque parasites that wriggle beneath the skin. They seek new hosts if the current one dies.
13 Literal thick skin stitched on in patches. +4HP.
14 Faintly-glowing magical scarification – save as Fighter 1
15 Deep goblinoids have transparent skin and their innards are visible. -3 penalty for fighting in daylight.
16 Strangely tinted (unnatural to the setting, such as blue or purple).
17 Spider eyes. Cannot be blinded and does not suffer penalty for combat in daylight.
18 Shrunken head.
19 Covered in fishy scales.
20 Four arms (double attacks per turn)

Feel free to roll repeatedly on the chart above to modify your goblins extensively.

On to the finest weapons, oddities, and goods the goblin markets can provide:

1d8 I. Trademark Weapon
1 Heavy lugged spear
2 Scourge with hooks made of bone
3 Billhook
4 Iron kilij
5 Archer’s axe
6 Shortbow and barbed arrows
7 Steel kitchen cleaver
8 Pair of daggers (two weapon attacks per turn)
1d6 J. Weapon Quality
1 Rusted, cracked, or chipped, in a state of terminal disrepair.
2 Discolored and dented or blunted, but serviceable.
3 Dull from use, or mass-produced with little expertise.
4 Fair to good condition, of adequate construction and maintenance.
5 Good or better in quality, with some ornamentation.
6 Masterwork, of finest materials and decorated throughout.
1d10 K. Equipment and Possessions
1 Iron chain shirt, small pouch of fortune telling bones, reed skirt. (AC as mail)
2 Haversack, 50′ of rope, two candles of tallow in crude clay pots, incorrectly-sized quilted gambeson.
3 30′ rope ladder, bronze shears, bone key (opens one standard lock, crumbles once used)
4 Leather jerkin, salt-cured leg of indeterminate origin wrapped in greasy linen, some small round stones.
5 Heavy-walled pot with moldy rice, burlap sack, manacles.
6 Soiled brigandine, cat skins, metal cup, paring knife. (+1 bonus to AC)
7 Antler flute, ostrakon bearing a prayer (goblin language; if read, cures disease once), waterskin.
8 Small cask of liquor, torch, “mirror armor” of polished bronze. (AC as plate)
9 Fifty caltrops in a leather bag, jar of oil.
10 Walking stick, ritual bowl, shrunken head (acts as wand of dimunition, 4 charges remaining).

That should do it! If you run straight down this list you should come up with a noteworthy, well-armed goblinoid for your PCs to chase after, hunt down, and overcome one way or another. If you use the completely optional bonuses I’ve italicized in each list, it may help you to record the basic Goblin stat block from your game of choice and then cross-out and notate it as you go down the list, like so:

12, 1, 9, 11, 2, 9, 1, 14, 3, 3, 6

Merry Christmas and a happy Boxing Day to any who celebrate it, and Joyeaux Dicember Dimanche for anyone who doesn’t! Thanks again especially to Evlyn Moreau, whose terrific goblin art was generously given as a perk to her Patreon supporters this month and not a moment too soon; the moment I saw it, I knew I had just the project to use it on! Join us over there to see some great art, support a cool indie creator, and get art for your books.

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