I made this for Daniel Sell on Twitter as a joke but I may as well put it here.
For those using screen-readers, it is:
Angry Troika Pirate
Bitter, wave-worn sailors of the seven astral seas, these roughnecks bring chaos, complaints, and copious carnage with them in any port they drop anchor.
They’re also smelly.
(cutlass, hatchet, hook, anchor, or something worse!)
Feel free to use this silly background if it amuses you!