I made this for Daniel Sell on Twitter as a joke but I may as well put it here.

For those using screen-readers, it is:

Angry Troika Pirate

Bitter, wave-worn sailors of the seven astral seas, these roughnecks bring chaos, complaints, and copious carnage with them in any port they drop anchor.

They’re also smelly.

CLIMB 2
STRENGTH 2
SWIM 2
WEAPON 2
(cutlass, hatchet, hook, anchor, or something worse!)

Feel free to use this silly background if it amuses you!