Thanks to TSR for this map from D1-D2 Descent Into the Depths by E. Gary Gygax, used utterly without permission.
Over on Twitter, I often fill time with brief little 1d6 tables as the feeling catches me. I also occasionally think them up besides, and sometimes I even remember to write them down. For the benefit of those of you who don’t use Twitter, I’ve collected these here in this post; for the benefit of those of you who do use Twitter, I’ve also added a few extra tables here that you haven’t seen before. Hopefully everyone walks away with something new and neat!
From Twitter
- Small wallaby w/ porcupine quills. Skittish, docile. Favored prey of roc, which is avoided with quick leaps & pokey bits.
- Crab with rugged, rock-like calcified exoskeleton known to create towering mud colonies like termite mounds that emerge from waterways.
- Blue-eyed lizard w/ minor psychic abilities it uses to confuse & disorient its small insect prey.
- Vampire pig. It’s a boar w/ a mosquito proboscis instead of a normal oinky nose. It charges & gores victims, then tries to drink their insides. Herd animal.
- Tree squid. Resides in the towering, humid canopies of the fog forest. About the size of a basketball. Stretches tentacles between branches to catch birds, like a living spiderweb.
- Pangolin. Just a pangolin. They’re weird enough.
- Golden Strawberries – Strawberries dipped in elven honeydew sauce, which shimmers brilliant gold and brings warmth and redness to the cheeks of humans and halflings who eat it – as well as the ability to see glamors and the fae veil.
- Velvet Mousse – Incredibly decadent confection produced by wealthy halflings who have tired of regular foods. The exact ingredients that create the texture are a protected secret, but the result is a ridiculously smooth consistency that can fetch immense prices amongst humans.
- Sweetloaf Pudding – A dwarven baked dessert flavored with ant-rum and rich dark molasses. Besides resulting in a little bit of a buzz, the sweetloaf pudding imparts a keen sense of direction that lasts 1d8 hours. During this time, nothing can disorient those who partake.
- Nudeberry Compote – These berries can only be harvested in one dangerous valley, forever shrouded in mist. They render the eater immune to heat & flame for 1d20 minutes per serving, making it a popular delight at the parties of bored nobles. Clothes & gear are not protected!
- Dizzyflower Cheesecake – featuring beautiful petals and drizzled with a syrup made from potent psychedelic flowers, this hallucinogenic cake is capable of expanding the mind. Roll 1d100. On a 98+, gain +1 WIS. On a 1-10, lose -1 INT. No takebacks! Immune: madmen, chaotic elves.
- King’s Lament Muffin – Said to be toxic to those with royal blood, but maybe that king who died just choked. Who can really say? It’s delicious for the rest of us, though, and just one muffin is big enough and filling enough to last all week.
- Venous Fractal – A moist sound heralds the approach of this creature frm the space betw. worlds where the minds of the comatose & catatonic are tormented. It’s a bundle of fibrous blood vessels seeking a host, which it slowly melts into a spawning pool.
- Parasite Liver – Predatory, fleshy creature mistaken for a cave leech. Drops on passersby and latches on. If ignored, they invert themselves thru the wound site & consume/replace the host liver. In time, they burst internally, releasing 1d12 offalspawn.
- Oculops – Hellish aberrations who stink of brimstone. They resemble large slugs covered in eyes. Impossible to surprise. They consume living eyes from victims to add to their sloppy forms. Victims go mad from being able to see thru them for weeks after.
- Wizardtongue – Devised by mad mage Vak Thyr to replace his tongue w/ one more nimble at ancient words. It was so nimble it escaped his mouth. Always seeking a new mouth w/ more magical potential – will replace tongue during sleep on fail save vs Spell.
- Sentient Boil – Pustulent hellspawn resembling a sunny-side up egg made of swollen skin filled w soupy disease. Each was once a sinful priest. Still aware. Spits filth & decay. Save vs Psn or be infected, becoming embodiment of priest’s sin in 1d12 days.
- Flenser – Worm-like larvae. Eat connective tissues. Parasitic eggs laid by any penetrating insect attack. Maturity in d10 days. Each day, take 1HP dmg & observe growing tunnels in skin. When complete, skin peels off. You remain alive. Scarabs flutter out.
- Warm creature the size of a hedgehog, completely hairless, with wrinkles skin like a sphynx cat. Personality of a shy hamster. Two pedipalps that it uses to scoot itself across the ground. Shelters within refuse, common near abattoirs, earning the common moniker Skullbobbin.
- Scaled, rubbery little creature about the proportions of a chihuahua – called Squaggies. Leathery, fanned tail. Spends time in muddy river waters, snapping at tanglereed bass. Popular alarm and guard pets for fishing villages. Trendy leashes contrast with their dark scales.
- Fat little fuzzy things like an overstuffed ferret. Most locomotion is achieved by tucking all together and rolling like hell. Commonly called wudgies or wudgers. Burrowing animals who like to live near human settlements for the abundance of food. Easily domesticated.
- Hamhonks are featherless geese covered in wiry fur. They chase interloping coyote, mischievous child, and evil burglar alike, so theyre favored by weird geriatrics. There are fairytales where they star prominently as stout protectors of lambs, orphans, vulnerable creatures.
- Ballerinaflowers are actually beautiful fungi with iridescent scales and a web-like structure. They stretch and rotate to follow sun and moisture, which, combined with the gown-like web, earned it a name and a place in the fancy ceramic pots of wealthy connoisseurs.
- Popos are an expensive sort of parrot with an extraordinarily complex, polyphonic, musical call. They are valued by sorcerers above all, but the wily magicians will not say why the blue birds are so important. The popo bird can be found most commonly in breezy tropical climes.
All-New
1d6 Bestial Conveyances
- Triceratops Howdahs – A popular option for heavy work – battle, travel, or even farming and construction. As beasts of burden, triceratops are incredibly strong and determined creatures. Many cultures employ various kinds of howdah upon the backs of their triceratops. For war, battlements suitable for several archers or javelin-throwers; for transit, large, canopied wicker baskets with benches and points to lash dozens of bags and sacks.
- Hazarug Trains – The eight-legged hazarugs of the desert plod slowly across endless dunes with great disinterest. Living nearly eighty years in the wild, the hazarug is in no hurry to cross the shifting sands. However, it is nearly tireless, and so it makes terrific time as it marches all day and most of the night. The name hazarug translates most closely to “indefatigable,” for this reason. The long, reptilian hazarugs need nearly no extra water apart from the cactuses and roots they consume.
- Pha-Xiph Gondolas – Huge, long-tailed birds, trained to lift tethered gondolas with their talons. The pha-xiph naturally prey upon dolphins and other large marine life, but pha-xiph are smart enough to realize that easy food at either end of their route is less work and danger than wrestling killer whales or risking losing a wing or worse to a mosasaur.
- Humcarriages – A pair of large wheels with a single axle. Suspended from the axle is a large basket with a pair of seats, some small stowage for belongings, and a cradle for the humcrystal which drives the wheels with a magical energy field. Around the humcrystal, one-to-four shrieking imps create a cacophony to vibrate the humcrystal. Frequently used by magicians and devil-worshipping mercantile princes.
- Dire Hound Sledges – Made from huge timbers and dragged by a team of immense hounds whose barks shake saplings like torrential winds, this is mode of transport is reserved for heavy loads over snow. In the cool weather of the tundra, thundering paws make light work of transit for tons of goods or dozens of people; however, the hounds eat an incredible amount and are often out of commission for rest for weeks after long journeys.
- Holefish Rafts – A trimaran raft with a half-dozen harnessed holefish, so named for the large hole through their bodies which makes them shaped not unlike a donut. As they rhythmically beat their dozens of gossamer, fan-like fins, the holefish pull the raft through the sea. The captains of these craft must be careful to watch for schools of sharks and plesiosaurs which might try to eat their trained fish, but otherwise, this vehicle makes terrific time traveling between islands.
1d6 Pieces of Magical Clothing
- Coronation Scarf – Woven on an enchanted loom for a noble attending the coronation of a boy-king in a distant land. Made of extremely fine, sheer threads in a myriad of colors that catch the eye and glitter in the sun. Worn by a lawful being, it offers a +2 bonus to all reactions with royals, nobles, or similar leaders. It also offers a bonus to follower morale and hiring; for the purposes of hiring followers or keeping them from fleeing combats and dangers, treat a lawful wearer of this scarf as having +2 CHA.
- Hat of the Hundredth Horizon – A commemorative, fanciful hat commissioned for the celebrations lauding the return of a great trader and explorer by the name of Heng Zhe. Broad-brimmed and ornate, this hat features complex golden embroidery and hundreds of dangling knots tied by sisters of a reclusive order. The red, green, and ivory fabrics come from very remote locales. The prayers of the reclusive order of lady-monks are infused into this hat – the wearer can cast a spell which will give a sense of absolute direction to their monastery, once per day, and may bless water as a member of a clerical order.
- Morel’s Mercurial Dining Gloves – These ridiculous party favors from a foolish wizard’s dinner soiree confer two big benefits as a side effect of their primary purpose. Their primary purpose: Infused with sorcery, the gloves make all food eaten by the wearers taste like a different exotic meal with each bite. Meant to amuse and delight witches and warlocks at an invitation-only event, one pair escaped destruction and now turns even the cheapest rations into bizarre spectacles of dining. Their side effects: due to an overabundance of enchantment, they can radiate prismatic spray once per day, and each time they do so, the wearer rolls 1d100 and on a 1 they must roll on a mutation chart.
- Ranger Socks – Mildly-enchanted stockings made by a petty sorcerer in a batch with an eye towards sale to the roaming hunters and mountaineers of the wild frontierlands. The flaw in her plan? Roaming hunters and mountaineers have no time for petty sorcerers nor desire for their suspicious wares. These socks confer a +1 bonus to all to-hit rolls with slings. They also inform the petty sorcerer’s scrying orb of the wearer’s location. Unfortunately, she died long ago, and her orb could be anywhere.
- Indigo Skirt of the Archipelago Breeze – An airy, cool, hand-painted skirt of white linen and indigo ink. The artist poured hundreds of hours and considerable amounts of expensive pigments into this, their crowning work. This wrap was to be worn by a member of a princess’ retinue until, without warning, the royal family was ousted in a bloody coup. The peaceful scenes of reeds, fisherbirds, and leaping trout seem like lifelike watercolors. The skirt seems to catch even the slightest breeze. When leaping, the wearer of this skirt can glide for their maximum movement distance.
- Astral Cape – This cape’s exterior is beautiful black satin. Inside, the lining feels like normal fabric but looks like an expansive void of space littered with distant stars and nebulae. Staring too long into it, one can get lost in the infinite detail of stars, galaxies, worlds, moons, rings, and comets. The origin of this piece is unknown, but there are folk tales of many different thieves having worn “cloaks of the starry sky” and other such contrivances throughout the ages. The astral cape turns the wearer invisible under starlight when turned inside out. Each day it is worn, roll 1d100. For every result 90-100, mark your character sheet. After five marks, the wearer is snatched into the cloak and winds up, unharmed, on one of the planets within.
1d6 New Patrons That Usurped The Warlock’s Prior Contract
- Ul’gor, the Six-Eyed is described as a being with the body of a squat, hairy man in poor shape, with priapism. His head is flattened like a disc, with eyes spread evenly in all directions around its circumference. He favors the perverse, lewd, and illicit. He offers power to those who embody these traits. He seeks to upend decency and chastity to undermine society and pain the spirits of civilization.
- Ruzhir is a traitorous djinn experiencing endless torment for breaching a contract with hell. He is naturally formless, but takes the shape of a muscular man with twisted antelope horns and a huge beard twisted into flaming braids. He wishes to find a way out of his own contract with hell, having learned nothing from the past. He offers power to those whose cleverness, selfishness, and duplicity exceeds his own on the chance that they can inspire his escape.
- Baelgathax of the Virulent Swarm is an insectoid demon with thousands of twitching hairs vacillating in irregular waves across its quivering body. It speaks through the warbling buzz of its incessant cadre of pestilent wasps and flies. Eggs spawn between the hairs of its body, incubate, hatch, and spew forth waves of vermin, varying to produce different sounds. It wants to lay its filthy clutch of evil eggs in the houses of the holy, and will offer power to malcontents and misanthropes.
- Lythos Karvanos is a beheaded prince of a mortal kingdom who, in death, became a prince of limbo. Though eventually dethroned from his pirate kingdom, Lythos stole souls and territories in the grey in-between for centuries until catching the notice of Those Who Watch. He appears as a mortal man, dressed in fine velvets and brocades – with his head in hand, separated as it was with the blade of a headsman’s axe. Never satisfied with being less than a prince, he seeks to regain his power by corrupting and indenturing new legions of souls. He offers power to those who seek to change their station.
- The Queen of the Ringed World is a vibrating voice from the void whose ruinous poems and songs twist the minds of those who hear them. Some say she is a forgotten construct. Others say she is an ageless sorcereress. None can agree on what she wants, for she seems to hold no specific agenda or demands. Nonetheless, The Queen of the Ringed World seems to find her thrumming words heard only by those who with a penchant for fouling the plans of others, leading to a reputation so miserable she has become synonymous with bad luck and sabotage. She offers its power to seemingly random trouble-makers.
- Vagosz is an opportunistic upstart in the seventy-first tier of the inverted ziggurat of the shadelord. She inhabits a dangerous world of treachery, where spirits in servitude to greater and more powerful souls ensnare and destroy each others’ eternal signatures for the chance to move up the ladder. She seeks a way out, or, barring that, she seeks to be at the top of this horrific equation. Her power is offered to particularly insightful magical philosophers and similar brilliant minds.
As always, I hope some small piece of this collection finds its way onto a table somewhere out there. I think that’s why we all do this in the first place! Ideally some of this is the solution to a problem or breaks through an inspiration gap for somebody. In the event that it does, shoot me a message on Twitter @dungeonspossums!
(the full text of that nonsense dungeon key page is as follows:
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. Excepteur sint occaecat cupidFROM THE LAND OF IXX. THEIR FUNGAL GOD IS A MISERABLE WRETCH CALLED KARL WHO CANNOT BE TRUSTED.
THE HALLWAYS ARE COVERED IN LICHEN AND BAT GUANO. EVERY SO OFTEN, CLUSTERS OF RADIANT CAVE CLAMS FROM THE LAND OF KONSUMTERRA GLIMMER IN THE DARKNESS LIKE LANTERNS. THE ROCKS ARE JAGGED BENEATH THE LICHEN. SOME AREAS ARE SMOTHED SMOOTHED BY TRICKLING WATER DRIPING DOWN FROM ABOVE.
IN THE FIRST ROOM YOU SEE A WIZARD WITHOUT PANTS AND HE IS REALLY CONFUSED ABOUT WHERE HIS PANTS HAVE GONE. HE SAYS “I AM MERLIN, WHERE ARE MY PANTS?”
HE HAS 31 G.P. AND KNOWS AL SPELS ALL SPELLS.THE SELKIE IN THIS ROOME HAS BEEN GIVEN A QUEST BY HER QUEEN TO KILL THE ICE VAMPIRE FROM THE DARK SIDE OF THE MOON BEFORE HE DRINKS THE BLOOD OF AN ANGEL IN THE SACRED TEMPLE AND BECOMES UNSTOPPABLE. SHE CARRIES 6 G.P. AND TWO SHORT SWORDS PLATED WITH SILVER. HER NAME IS EVLYN.
THE 10TH ROOM HAS A LOST MINER NAMED DIOGO WHO NEEDS TO FIND ENOUGH ENCHANTED SALT TO EXORCISE A WRAITH NAMED LUKA WHO IS HOLDING DIOGO’S TOWN HOSTAGE AND FILLING THE SKY WITH DEMONIC NEON PURPLE LIGHT AL NIGHT THAT ATTRACTS RAVENOUS HORDES OF BEASTS AND CRIMINALS. TIME IS RUNNING OUT. HE WILL ATTACK THE PLAYERS FOR THEIR SAILT IF THEY HAVE RETRIEVED IT FROM ROOM 32.
all typos are intentional I guess; it was meant to look amateur. Much love to Evlyn Moreau, Chris Tamm, Diogo Nogueira, Luka Rejec, Karl Stjernberg, and Merlin.)